Due Date

Today is Nadine's due date.  We're hopeful that she will decide to grace us with her presence soon, and I took a long, long walk with my iPod today to help turn that hope into a reality.  We'll see if it works.

During my walk, this song came on my iPod.  I've said before, and it remains true today, almost every word in this song represents my wish for my child.  So I thought I would share.

Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Momma told me when I was young,
Come sit beside me my only son,
And listen closely to what I say.
If you do this it will help you some sunny day.

Take your time, don't live too fast.
Troubles will come and they will pass.
You'll find a woman. Yeah, you'll find love.
And don't forget, son, there is someone up above.

Be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Won't you do this for me son, if you can.

Forget your lust for the rich man's gold.
All that you need is in your soul.
And you can do this if you try.
All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied.

Be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Won't you do this for me son, if you can.

Don't you worry... you'll find yourself.
Follow your heart and nothing else.
Yeah, you can do this if you try.
All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied.

The home stretch...

Nadine's due date is less than one week away, and I'm starting to feel the beginnings of labor. Soon we will be able to hold our little one in our hands... we'll get to hug her and kiss her and watch her grow up. In just a few short days, our lives will change forever.

I keep thinking back to how this whole journey began. What was merely an idea in our heads... a glimpse of hope that Katie and I might someday get to experience the joy of motherhood... transformed so quickly and effortlessly into our reality. We went from hopeful dreamers to expectant mothers in just a few short months.

We thought we would have a long search to find a donor... a long struggle determining how to "make the transfer". But we were blessed enough to have loving and supportive people in our lives who wanted to help... and who made it very easy.

We had no pre-conception medical evaluations... we knew that Katie's body would not handle a fetus right now, so I was chosen as the only other alternative. But honestly, we didn't know the viability of me as a mother either. It was only in 2008 that I had a large and serious cyst removed from my left ovary. The doctor said she was lucky that she was able to salvage the ovary at all, but its functionality was questionable. That led us to believe that we had only 50% likelihood of getting pregnant at all.

And yet we were successful... on only our second attempt at insemination, we were pregnant. I remember the morning I took the pregnancy test and saw the + on the screen. I remember taking 4 more tests... just to be sure. I remember thinking that it was all one big joke... because nothing works that way in my life... nothing has ever been easy. I remember when I realized that this actually WAS real.

And now here we are... days away from meeting our baby. I'm going through all of the normal pre-delivery anxieties. I'm worried about my maternity leave... I left work early because it was a stressful environment for me and I didn't want that added stress on the baby. I'm eager for her to get here, and impatient. I'm worried about visitors and how we will have enough time for ourselves. I'm sad because Katie doesn't get paternity leave and will only have about 2 weeks with us. I'm in pain as this little bundle descends lower into my pelvis.

But most of all, I am grateful. I am blessed. I am humbled. And I am thankful. This little child... the culmination of all our combined hopes and dreams... is even more proof in my eyes that this is the life God planned for me. This is the person I was created to be... the life I was destined to live. I couldn't have chosen a better path for myself. I am so blessed.